Wednesday, April 6, 2011

You talkin' to me?

There's a yard we pass regularly with two dogs in it who are under the supervision of an invisible fence. There's the original mixed breed dog, yellow, (maybe) eighty-pound big barker and an additional well behaved, brown, pit bull. We call the barking dog Chief for no other reason than he seems to think he is one. Occasionally, if Chief is feeling extra brave he'll get to the boundary of the invisible fence and just say something along the lines of "fuck it" and burst on through, running the line of his own yard and smack talking us until we're out of sight. Stella used to respond to his outbursts but now she just passes by without so much as a nod. This of course, makes him crazy. The pit bull might stand up and watch but it never barks or appears agitated in any way.

So the other day we're walking by and Chief comes tearing across the yard at us as usual. He gets about halfway to us and Stella makes a beautiful little ninety degree hop to square off in his direction. He freezes. She then proceeds to pick up the newspaper in his very own driveway (I hadn't even noticed) and slinging it with her head by it's flimsy plastic wrapper murders it right in front of him.

About five seconds into this colorful display, she apparently feels my amusement and begins slamming it on the ground repeatedly until the plastic is shredded, now barely able to contain its herniated contents. She stops and stares at Chief who is not surprisingly, still frozen.

"Drop it," I whisper, and she does. Then she pees. At this point, I can no longer contain my laughter. We turn to walk away, with Stella leaping like a little gazelle (because that's what she does when she knows I love her) and we don't hear another peep out of grouchy old Chief.


Foley Monster and Pocket said...

Way to show who the boss is. No matter what the situation is they must respect your authority

giantspeckledchihuahua said...

Stella should be giving the world seminars in conflict resolution! BRILLIANT! (Visuals would have been awesome, I can only imagine what was going through chief's head)

Anonymous said...

Hey, thanks for stopping by our blog! Firstly, Stella is absolutely gorgeous.

Secondly, she's obviously also got the brains (hilarious!!).

And thirdly, we love your writing style!

And as a fourth afterthought, we hate, with lots of passion, electric fences.

Two Pitties in the City said...

I'm with giantspeckledchihuahua--Stella is quite the mastermind. I loved thinking how this would have looked.

Susan Rose said...

I like this silent communication between you and Stella that tells her when it's okay to be a smart aleck.... and it's interesting that Stella and the other Pit Bull were silent. (There's nothing worse for a neighborhood than loud, incessant barking. )

Pitbullsand Schnauzers said...

Bahahaha I love it! Go Stella!

susan said...

GSC: Visuals definitely would've been a great thing, especially when she stopped killing it and that bag was just swinging from her bottom tooth. It was all I could do not to laugh then. Susan: I haven't even talked yet about the "real" barking dog in our neighborhood. It has some serious separation anxiety though. Poodle&Pbull: I agree with you on the fence and we were happy to find your blog too!
Thanks always for the comments.

Beverly said...

Yeah! That's what I'm talkin' about! HAHAHA love that dawg. And her mama! xo

Anonymous said...

that is hilarious, wish I could have seen that. I always hated walking past dogs who flipped out at us on the other side of the fence/chain etc.. I felt bad for them usually as they probably never got out of their yard. Luna has learned to just ignore them, and if the dog is off leash I usually step in to make it back off. Amazing how many bluffers are out there